Friday, July 23, 2004

Living the life of V

The SciFi channel is rerunning "V," that series from the 1980s about aliens disguised as humans who want to take over the earth. When the aliens go from childhood to adulthood, they go into a gross little cocoon and metamorphose in some kind of amniotic jelly. They writhe around inside the cocoon as they go through the growth process. Sometimes they scream--I think we're supposed to know that it's a painful event.

Right now I feel like a metamorphosing alien. All my juices are mushing around and reprocessing, and it definitely hurts a lot. Who knows when gestation will be complete? All I know is that I'm totally inwardly focused right now and I'm not very good in groups. It's all about comfort and safety and being with friends and family. I'm hiding in a way, but then I feel so raw inside that I can't imagine taking any bold steps or conquering the planet. All I can handle right now is putting one foot in front of the other while I hope I'm not about to walk off a cliff.

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