Monday, February 28, 2005

LA LA land

Last night I dreamed that I was in LA for a few days on business, and I was staying at a hotel in Manhattan Beach, although in the dream Manhattan Beach was north of the 10, sort of in the vicinity of Mar Vista. I was so proud of myself for going to LA and not melting down or calling Glenn, but toward the end of my last day there, I realized that if I rushed, I could go by our old apartment and get the ring papers from him in person before he left for work. In the middle of rushing, my parents showed up and tried to stop me from going back to Darlington Ave. I insisted, though, but when I got there, the awful California storms had completely wrecked the street. All the trees were blown over and broken branches blocked the sidewalk. I had to bushwhack through storm wreckage to get to the apartment building, and once I stood in front of the gate I remembered why I had decided never to go back there again.

Heart. Breaking. All. Over. Again.

Luckily, the dream transformed our old apartment into a dingy, cramped, dorm room-like space that Glenn was sharing with three roommates. As soon as they saw me walk in, one of them ( a petite blond girl) went running into the bathroom to warn Glenn (who was showering) that I was there. My first reaction was, “Who the hell are you to be busting in on him in the bathroom? That’s MY job.” Then she and I had a talk. I asked if she was dating Glenn and she said, “No yet. We’re just flirting. I’m biding my time.” I told her she was total trailer trash and proceeded to give her a huge black eye. Then Glenn emerged from the bathroom and we went into his room. He was impressed that I kicked the crap out of the blond girl, but when I asked him about her, he leaned in really close (like, hugging me with his mouth in my ear) and told me that he was playing it close to the vest. “If I play my cards right,” he whispered, “After you leave and call me later all upset because you still have feelings for me, I’ll have her to fall back on and it won’t matter to me at all.” Knife in the gut. I couldn’t believe he was such a conniving, calculating asshole. But then we snogged anyway.

Today I've got the morning-after dream sadness.

No comments: