Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Chicken soup for the roommate's soul

Scully made her feelings on the topic of Valentine's Day quite clear by throwing up on my bed while I was at work. Poor puss--I don't blame her for booting, but now I really wish the laundry machines in my building were big enough to handle my down comforter.

The best part of Valentine's Day being over: discounted V-day candy!! Bring on the gummy hearts, baby. Bring them ON.

My roommate's boyfriend is *still here*. He's a nice enough guy but he and his computer have been hogging the couch for 5 days now and I want my living space back. Being sexiled in your own apartment gets irritating after a while. I want to walk around in my pajamas without worrying if I'm flashing my headlights, and watch my trashy TV shows without his silent judgement. Plus, he uses my bathroom products and leaves the toilet seat up. That's cute if *I'm* dating the guy in question, but otherwise it's just sort of rude.

It's jarring to coexist with the casual intimacies shared by a couple. It's been a long time since I lived with someone who HAD a significant other. None of my roommates after college had boyfriends who came over very much. When the boys stayed over, it was sort of fun and exciting to have everyone under one roof. It meant we were sexually liberated adults or something. Now it feels different. My roommate and her boyfriend have been very considerate, but I watch them talk in the bathroom and make dinner together and cuddle on the couch, and it forces me to acknowledge an emptiness in my life that I prefer to avoid. I miss living with a guy. My single life is fabulous, but sometimes it just creeps in on me.

Osho Zen Tarot card for the day: Guidance

You have to look for guidance because you don't know your inner guide is hidden inside you. You have to find the inner guide, and that's what I call your witness. That's what I call your dharma, that's what I call your intrinsic buddha. You have to awaken that buddha and your life will shower blessings, benediction. Your life will become so radiant with good, with godliness, more than you can possibly conceive. It is almost like light. Your room is dark, just bring light in. Even a small candle will do, and the whole darkness disappears. And once you have a candle you know where the door is.You don't have to think about it: "Where is the door?" Only blind people think about where the door is. People who have eyes and the light is there, they don't think. Have you ever thought, "Where is the door?" You simply get up and go out. You never give a single thought to where the door is. You don't start groping for the door or hitting your head against the wall. You simply see, and there is not even a flicker of thought. You simply go out.

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