Monday, November 22, 2004

Silence is nirvana

When I'm dreaming, there is nothing scarier than being chased by the creatures from Alien. They're unbeatable, immortal, everything that frightens me to the point of paralysis. Last night I had my first alien escape dream in months. Am I running away from my fears in my sleep as well as in my waking life?

The day began with two hours of meditation. Then yummy vegatarian food for lunch. I haven't said a word to anyone. Suddenly I understand why whole orders of monks took vows of silence. It's amazing. And no one has batted an eye. Here, you can do your own thing and no one thinks it's weird or introverted or awkward.

The good feeling I've been nurturing? I'm finally coming to terms with myself. And now, at the risk of sounding like one of those horrible, Stuart Smalley-inspired motivational posters that vendors sell on college campuses, I will say that I like myself for quite possibly the first time in my life. What's the point of worrying about what people think of me or my choices? As long as I'm fine with who and what I am, nothing else matters.

This afternoon I did the Danskinetics class and then went for a hike up to Monk's Pond.

I haven't felt lonely once since I got here.

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