Sometimes the depression and anxiety come crashing down so hard that watching back-to-back episodes of Friends and Will & Grace just won’t help, and the only way to get out of my head is to get out of the house. Thankfully, the sun isn’t setting until almost 6:30 these days and the temperature is hovering around 40, so last night I put on my old running shoes and went for a long walk around town. It’s something I used to do every day during the first few months I was in LA. I call them my sanity walks because by the time I end up back at the house, I usually don’t feel like I’m ready to step in front of a bus any more.
My neighborhood is full of large, graceful old Victorian houses and walking affords a sidewalk-size glimpse of what it’s like to live in that kind of space. Some of the houses have been divided into condos, but most of them are still intact as single family homes and it’s endlessly interesting to see what people have done to them. Makes me wish I knew anything real about architecture, rather than just being a dilettante.
Down by the Charles, spring has already started. The ice is gone and Harvard, MIT and Northeastern had their men’s eights on the water, training for the spring racing season. Rowing is such a beautiful, meditative, painful, amazing sport. I rowed for three years in college, and watching the boats on the water last night made my skin tingle. One of my favorite sounds in the entire world is the deep, almost guttural *thunk* made when all eight oars of a sweep boat hit the oarlock at the finish. It’s a masculine sound, almost sexual in the way it hits me in the gut, especially when the boat making the noise is a men’s eight. Lightweight or heavyweight—it doesn’t matter. It’s a sound full of power and strength, and it only happens when all eight rowers are in sync. Beautiful.
When it got too dark to see, I walked home through Harvard Square. I went straight to the kitchen and made a big batch of cupcakes that I brought into work today. Baking is so appealing to me these days. In the past three weeks, I’ve made banana bread, cherry vanilla bread, brownies and now these lovely, pink-frosted, spring-y cupcakes. Then my roommate and I watched about 4 episodes of Sex and the City and I finished the scarf I’ve been knitting.