Up and down

Still in Boston. Feeling marginally better. I have good days and bad days. On the good days, I can't wait to get out of the house and see friends. On bad days, I can barely get out of bed and don't even want to venture as far as the porch. The crying jags continue, regardless of how good the day is. Last night I drove home from seeing a movie with friends and could barely see through the tears.

In the week and a half since we called off the wedding, G and I have only spoken a few times. It's easy to be uncharitable, particularly because I know he isn't having as hard a time with this as I am, but I know he's hurting, too. The longer we talk, the harder it gets. How do you break up with your best friend, the person you talked to 4 times a day for three and a half years? As Boromir said in The Fellowship of the Ring, "How did it come to this?"

My friends and family have totally rallied around me and if the only thing I get out of this is to see what excellent friends I have, than I'm satisfied with that. God knows it's not easy dealing with someone who alternates between being a silent lump and a crying mess, and they have been nothing but supportive and wonderful.