Monday, June 07, 2004

No more bride-to-be

We called it off. I called it off. He just decided (or just decided to admit) that he's not ready to get married and he's not even sure he wants to marry me.

I moved to LA with him because he was dying to come back here and I needed a change. The past year has been the most difficult of my life, trying to make a life for myself in a city that feels completely alien in every way. And I started to succeed--I found a good job, I made friends, I started volunteering. I made a life for myself. But apparently it wasn't enough for him. He couldn't be patient with my transition or support me in any way that wasn't actively supporting his own goals. So here we are. I'm trying to wrap my mind around the fact that the life we had and the life we'd planned to have is gone. I feel like such a girl--I'm so shattered. I don't know where to turn or what to do.

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