Today I went food shopping for the first time in almost 7 months, and there should be a law against something as mundane as food shopping making me as happy as it did. Being in Trader Joe's was a little weird. I felt nostalgic at times, especially when I was buying things we used to buy together--my beloved chicken nuggets, chocolate covered soy beans, chicken sausage, mixed greens. There were a couple of times when I felt like Glenn had just stepped around the corner to grab a bottle of wine, and if he'd turned up next to my cart I wouldn't have blinked an eye. Sometimes, even as I take steps forward on my own, it feels like nothing has really changed and this whole thing is just a bad dream.
BUT. I loaded up the car with my food bags, ran some more errands and then went back to MY apartment and did some more unpacking. As I sorted through the boxes, I found lots of reminders of where I used to me. A pile of notebooks full of my job hunting notes, notes to Glenn, his old training schedules. I threw them out. I found the photo albums from my bridal shower last April and I didn't cry. They feel like they're from another life, another world--I looked so *happy*, so clueless about what was to come. I found photos of me and Glenn, and my gut didn't heave. I know he's in town today, and that he's going out to Springfield to be with Josh and Rose, and that's sad to me. I know he will sleep in the guest bed alone, the bed where we first hooked up 4 years ago and that fact will not phase him. I am no longer a part of his life or his thoughts.
I finally threw out my keys to the LA apartment, and added the ones to my new place.
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