Sunday, January 30, 2005

Olfactory breakthrough

It's hard to be mad at a guy when he smells really good and your pajamas smell like him and that makes you happy. Not just because the happy pajama scent means that I've actually slept with, snuggled and snogged someone for the first time in months, but because I really, seriously, honestly miss sharing my daily existence with someone special. I miss living together and everything that entails, from brushing your teeth at the same time, to spending Friday nights together watching a DVD because we're too exhausted from the work week to be social, to spooning in the middle of the night, to leaving the bathroom door open when we pee because we're that comfortable, to going out for brunch and smooching on the sidewalk. I miss being part of a couple.

Maybe that's why I've put up with B (in addition to the fact that he smells great). The fact is, we live 3,000 miles apart and it's been kind of nice to play house for a few days without any strings attached. He may not be the man of my dreams but he's made me see that I do want that life again. Which is a huge step because for months I felt like I would never, ever, EVER be able to or even want to open up like that again. But here I am, smiling because he smells good and my pajamas smell like him and I'm not a completely detached, emotionally wounded animal anymore.

1 comment:

ME! said...

The Hot Librarian talked about Olfactory smells quite scientifically, I might add. You are so right though. Smelling what lingers on a sweater, or pajamas in your case, is wonderful!