Dead Wood

Glenn and I are addicted to "Deadwood," the new series on HBO. We walk around the house converting conversation into Deadwood vernacular, sort of like we used to do with Iron Chef: "Sweetie, could you take the fucking laundry down with you? The cocksucker next door has been hogging the washer." It makes me think how much more interesting would LA be if we all talked in Deadwood dialogue all the time. Instead of the incessant schoomzing and ass-kissing that goes on here, people could be straightforward with each other and actually tell it like it is.

"That cocksucker is wearing the ugliest fucking pants I've ever seen in my life!"
"If you fucking go behind my back one more time and pretend like you're working on my behalf, I'll fucking kill you, you cocksucker."
"I want a fucking latte without any goddamn crap in it."
"Your screenplay is a piece of shit. I'm not goddamn paying for it and I'm not afraid someone else will buy it and turn it into a fucking blockbuster."

The only downside is that the number of actual murders would far outpace the professional and social kind. Well, it would make it harder for incompetent people to fail upward, that's for sure.

Calamity Jane and Swearingen could really do some good here.