Bain de soleil

I do not think I'm alone in feeling like February has been a draining month. The cold and snow, coupled with what seems like a universal inability to slow down, have left me feeling like a heel that's been ground into piles of slush just a few too many times. I always bitch about winter, but this has been my first full winter without the benefit of antidepressants, and as glad as I am to be clean and clear of medication, I might reconsider the intelligence of taking on the dark seasons without a little help (more than the strategic use of Ativan) in the future.

Back in December, when things were a lot darker, we made plans for a nice vacation and it's finally happening. On Sunday we leave for a week in St. Martin. People at work keep asking me if I'm excited and I am, but the trip still feels theoretical. It probably won't feel real til we get on the plane (5:30am--ouch!) but then...sun and sand for miles in every direction.

When we started planning this trip, our travel agent (who walks on water in our opinion: 1. she gets amazing deals, 2. she got us out of our bad hotel in Kauai and put us in a heavenly hotel for $6 more per night, and 3. actually calls us when airfares drop) raved about St. Martin and then she giggled. "There's one thing you really need to know about before you go there," she said. "There are a lot of topless and nude beaches, and that makes some people uncomfortable." Personally, I couldn't care less, particularly since I made the cardinal mistake of stepping into an H&M dressing room yesterday without preparing myself for the harsh evil that is fluorescent lighting, so I will be wearing a lovely muumuu this entire vacation. I am not kidding. But the idea of letting loose, of no longer feeling frozen and rigid inside and out because I'm either trying to stay warm or trying to hold it together, sounds like a dream. So clothing-optional kind of sounds nice. Also, it can't hurt to get sun on every inch of skin, right? Unless I get burned. Ouch.

One of the big reasons Lunchboy and I got married in the winter is so that we'd have an excuse to go somewhere warm on our anniversary every year. This was so totally premeditated. I'll post photos when we're back....