Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Did you know you brought me home

Early last year while standing in a bar, my friend M made the astute observation that Boston men are, as a group, very short. M is one of those blonde Nordic goddesses and short she is not. But really--are all Boston men shorter than average? I poo-poohed making that kind of generalization until last night, when Lunchboy and I hit the Zero 7 show at Avalon. Lunchboy, who's a respectable 6', towered over most of the men there. As we stood to one side of the room, I looked out over a wide swath of male pattern shortness. Tom Cruise would love this city--he could throw out his expensive shoes with the not-so-hidden lifts and walk with his head held high. Why are there so many short men in Boston? And why was the short guy who insisted on standing RIGHT in front of me wearing so much cologne? My god, the cologne. I wanted to tap him on the shoulder and tell him that too much Drakkar does not compensate for lack of height.

The concert itself was fun. They did Destiny and Somersault, but not In the Waiting Line. Sia bounced around the stage like a coked-up sprite and flung her voice to the sky in the most breathtaking way. It's a testament to my naivete that I had to ask whether she was high or just relentlessly happy. I think we were literally the only sober people there (where's Nancy Botwin when you need her?). At least being stoned would have kept me from realizing that I was ready for bed at 10pm and that I might be getting too old for Tuesday night shows.


Anonymous said...

So, it's fine for a woman to complain about all the short men in Boston. OK.

But I'm sure than any blogger who complained about all of the fat women in a given place would be tarred and feathered by feminists.

Just a thought.

Moxie said...

Not complaining--just observing. I'm 5'3", so everyone is taller than me. I didn't notice it until it was pointed out to me.

I am complaining about the Drakkar, BTW. That was uncalled for.

Todd said...

Drakkar on any sized guy is uncalled for...

the girl in camouflage said...

Agree re: Drakkar. Agree re: short guys as well. I'm something of a shortyphile, so this never bothers me, but I noticed when my brother (who is 6'1") came out to visit, he was just towering over almost every guy in the bars we went to.

Just visiting from Universal Hub:)

chris said...

maybe they were all college kids @ Zero 7. but then again, no self-respecting college kids would wear drakkar

Vancetastic said...

If the short guy was standing right in front of you, would that really have been a problem? Visibility-wise, I mean?

Sia didn't, perchance, play "Breathe Me" from Six Feet Under, even though it has nothing to do with Zero 7, did she?

By the way, I love how scolders "hide" their identity either as "kittyblogger" or just plain "anonymous" (when they're too lazy to think up "kittyblogger," I guess).

Anonymous said...

And why was the short guy who insisted on standing RIGHT in front of me wearing so much cologne?

Similar to the reasons for why the flat chested girl with the annoying laugh tends to prostrate herself in front of me in bars to get my attention.

That being said, there's something to be said for 1) people who don't "try too hard," but perhaps more importantly 2)those with the maturity to look past slight deficiencies such has height and breast size. Admittedly, the latter is not for the general population. Note the current divorce rate.