Geese aplenty

My office complex is overrun with Canada geese. We humans may think we’ve got the superior intellect or the advantage of technology, but really we are at the mercy of the geese. They have the run of the place and they rule with little, webby iron fists.

Feet, fists, whathaveyou.

These geese are cute and they are not afraid to use their cuteness to assert their needs. Our geese dictate traffic patterns, lawn privileges, picnic bench usage and sidewalk space. They roam in large flocks and think nothing of creating their own crosswalks so they can get from pond to reservoir to lawn.

Two months ago, the geese had babies and everyone in all three of the office complexes on this street gave way to collective gosling worship. Except for the speed freaks, who thought nothing of plowing through the geese while the flock was crossing the street, leaving extremely disturbing brownish-yellow gosling-shaped messes on the road. Who hits goslings?!?!?!

That said, the geese have all access to the office complexes under tight control. Every day, there’s an impromptu traffic jam caused by a goose family making their way to their next meal. The mother geese herd the goslings around like counselors leading groups of young campers across the street, hand in hand. The mommy geese look both ways and shoo the goslings along whenever there’s a break in traffic—they totally know what’s up: Cars bad—geese good. Even when I’ve just dealt with a slow commute on 95 and am trying to get to work by 9am, I find it hard to get annoyed with the geese as they waddle across the road. Still, people race by the flocks as they emerge from the reservoir so they don’t get stuck while Junior crosses the pavement. And when the traffic gets really backed up, I’ve seen very respectable people dressed in professional clothing get out of their car and wave their arms around to scare the geese off the road.

Still, today there was a dead adult goose by the side of the road. Apparently the cubicle warriors are losing patience. It’s a sad thing.