Mazel tov

This weekend I am heading to the Bermuda Triangle that is New Jersey for my second cousin's son's bar mitzvah. It's the kind of family event I could have skipped without retribution before last summer, but since the entire New York/New Jersey side of the family was going to hoof it up to Vermont for the wedding, I am now embroiled in a strange sort of tit-for-tat family event political situation, and attendance at the bar mitzvah is mandatory.

I haven't been to a bar mitzvah since high school and I have no clue what to wear.

This is also the first time that I will see my father's side of the family since the un-wedding, and I am very glad that my cousin's son will be the center of attention. Hopefully that will minimize the amount of, "So, how ARE you? Really." that I'll get from relatives who mean well but won't know what else to say. They are all good people but I am one of the few cousins who wasn't raised Jewish and who doesn't live in the greater New York metropolitan area, so we only see each other at bar mitzvahs, weddings and funerals. I'm thinking of having a T-shirt made that says, "I'm fine. It's in the past. Let's talk about my cousin," and make things easier for everyone.

I have a hard time accepting concern/worry/pity from people, even when I know they love me and mean well. A couple of relatives sent cards out of the blue last summer and fall, and I was honestly touched. But I grew up with a mother whose motto in life is, "No wusses," and that hard-nosed French Canadian stubbornness resulted in a complete inability to admit weakness or emotional need in any form. In fact, that's been one of the biggest lessons for me over the past year. There are times when you have to lean on others and that's okay, when you HAVE to ask for help because you can't do it on your own. Someday I will have a conversation with my mother about it and see what her experience was.

On a completely different note, I am really looking forward to some good Jewish food! MMmmmmm.

Other plans for the weekend: having a swanky sushi dinner with my friend J, who's in town from San Francisco; going to see the Christo gates in Central Park; catching the Rubens show at the Met.